


Hold Onto Hope

by NineLuz



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Anxiety, Comfort, Dark Knight, Dissociation, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:21:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26876593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NineLuz/pseuds/NineLuz
Summary: Ficlet for G'raha/Male WoL. :)Will probably update a couple more of them.
Relationships: G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch/Warrior of Light
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	1. Under the Night Sky (NSFW)

**Author's Note:**

> Was written with Interrupted by Fireworks from FF7.

Under the night sky, a sky that was long forgotten for the people from the first shard, the Warrior of Light stood far from the partying crowd, close to the crystal tower. He could take a fresh breath of air, one without the anxiety from the ever-present light threatening to transform them into a monster. 

He breathed in and out, eyes closed with a peaceful feeling longing in his mind. There were still many things left to do, but tonight, all of his friends were safe and happy. Norvrandt was drinking and dancing to the sound of a well-deserved victory.

“Are you sleeping already?” a voice questioned. A voice he knew well. A voice he thought he would never hear again. The Warrior opened his eyes to G’raha, shrugging before offering a smile. “I… I feel like I should apologize again.” he said, Allagan eyes not quite meeting his. “You don’t G’hara. You did what you felt was true to you.”

The Miqo’te ears seemed to twitch to the sound of his name, and the Warrior thought he saw some red on his cheeks, “I… I was following the steps of my hero.” A sigh, then a smile, his eyes drifting to the sky, “Do you want to walk a bit? We should enjoy the night now that it is here to stay.”

The man nodded before coming along. They walked to the Exarch’s favorite spot, the canopy, which gave a stunning view over Lakeland. The sound of cheers, songs and singing could be heard to a distance, but the remaining place was perfectly calm. The Warrior stepped to the edge of the platform before sitting there, legs hanging, hands behind to steady himself, getting a better view of the night. He thought this was his favorite place too now.

His actions were followed by G’raha, mirroring his position, ears facing up the sky but turning around sometimes to hear the party behind them, eyes devouring the night as if he hadn’t seen it for a thousand years. 

With the sky so clear, the Warrior could observe a bit better the face of the Exarch: his light red hair with white tips framing a tired face, his cheeks and little pointy nose, the traces of crystal that seemed to have gained part of him, his lips slightly parted from awe… It created feelings inside his heart, feelings he hadn’t suspected he could have still felt. Longing, desire, but most of all, affection.

G’raha seemed to notice suddenly, his ears straightening up to the embarrassment, shaking his head “Why are you looking at me like that?” The Warrior smiled kindly, his hand reaching to the side of his head to gently touch a strand of hair, placing it behind his ear. 

They stared at each other breathlessly, G’raha moving almost unperceptively forward. The man thought of the idea of him disappearing, as the Miqo’te had planned, overwhelming grief taking place in his heart. But they didn’t want to speak of those things. 

The present was all that mattered, and presently G’raha was here, alive and well, within reach of his hand that slowly went down his cheek. A thumb brushed his bottom lip, one of the only things he knew of the Exarch’s face before his identity reveal.

He had wanted to kiss those lips since long before he realized it was G’raha’s.

And now the Warrior could. He took his time, because under the new night sky, space and time seemed to have stopped for a while. Stretching out for them to appreciate the beauty of one another. G’raha’s ears went down his head, closing his eyes, offering himself to the embrace of his hero, who claimed him and finally kissed him gently. 

All those thoughts about the death of the Exarch magically faded out, replaced by hands possessively going across the fabric of his beloved’s clothes. Kiss deepening from the desperation of those powerful feelings eating his soul and mind away. He didn’t dare to name them.

Their hearts were beating fast when they broke apart, chest rising and falling, eyes staring with dark pupils. G’raha swallowed, his still human hand rising to Warrior’s chest, pressing slowly to feel the pounding of his heart. As if he couldn’t believe him to feel this way about him. “I…” Was the only word he managed to whisper, and the end of the sentence faded out when the Warrior’s forehead met his, dizzy with affection. 

Little by little, their breathing turned back to normal. 

The Warrior slowly raised his head to look back at the night sky, a sky they fought for, joining hands with the Exarch. He let his head fall on top of the Miqo’te’s, exhaustion getting to him finally. His throat was choking with words he didn’t know how to say, but he didn’t think he needed to in the end, really. 

Silence took place. It was simply good to be able to be close to one another. 

“You knew who I was for a while, didn’t you?” the Exarch eventually asked at some point, eyes fixated on the view of Lakeland. The Warrior smiled and shrugged, intertwining their fingers together, “Maybe…”

Exhaustion took more and more place in the scene, falling slowly asleep, which led the Warrior to simply lie down on his back and encourage the Exarch to do so too. The Miqo’te did, close to the other man, a hand spread across the Warrior’s torso, his head falling gently to his shoulder. He could smell the soft red hair, his arm cupping his waist, stroking gently the fabric. The Warrior fought against the desire to sleep, wanting to live in the moment. Who knew what would become of the next day. The next fight? He knew how fast present could and would become a distant regretted past to grieve.

G’raha didn’t seem as anxious for the future as him; he simply closed his eyes and his breathing started to slow more and more. He didn’t know if he was asleep, but it was pleasurable to see him so close to him, rocked by the sound of his heart. The Warrior raised his hand to touch the other man’s hair, soft strands flowing between his fingers like water, thoughts vanishing again with a simple caress.

__

He opened his eyes feeling cold, after a dreamless sleep, the night sky still hanging above them. The Warrior took some time to understand he fell asleep. G’raha still seemed to peacefully rest in his arms. However, the man realized that the Miqote’s skin was shivering a bit from the soft wind roaming in Cristarium.

The Warrior caressed the other man’s arm before slowly moving to wake him up. G’raha’s eyes opened slowly, mumbling a bit. “We should get inside, we’re getting cold,” he whispered, fingers on his cheek. G’raha seemed perfectly fine staying like this in the cold, but he still rose to his feet, with some difficulties. The Warrior wondered if it was due to the crystal covering his body, but thought it didn’t really matter.

The place in front of the crystal tower was heavily crowded, so they walked through the peaceful Quadrivium to get to the Pendants. No one in sight. The Warrior walked to his room, taking G’raha’s hand in his before closing the door behind them. It felt bizarre, having someone in there that wasn’t Ardbert’s ghost. The Miqo’te didn’t seem to care much though. He went straight up to the bed, removing his sandals but keeping his robes to lazily hop on the bed, following his exhaustion.

Only the night’s sky illuminated a few parts of the room. The rest was all shadows, which gave the place a very intimate feeling. Like two old lovers getting united in the comfort of the night.

The Warrior removed his armor silently, belts and plates put on the ground with care as to not wake up the Exarch. Once in briefs, he came to the bed slowly, cold tiles under his feet until he found the comfort of the carpet near the bed. The Miqo’te had left him a spot which he tried to fit as best as he could. The sheets were only beginning to warm up, and once the Warrior was all set up on his back, G’raha snuggled up against him.

They looked for each other’s lips in the dark to kiss lazily, the bed already imprinting the smell of the Exarch, turning the Warrior’s senses to fire. Still, every movement of the duo was slow, marked by exhaustion and unvoiced affection. When the man tried to put a hand under the fabric of his dear friend, he was gently stopped, whispers following, “I want to keep it on… Please.” His breath once again caught his lips, hands unhurriedly adventuring themselves around the body of his hero. 

The touch was tentative, as if treating with a complex ethereal being. It still succeeded in making the Warrior’s skin burn. It stopped at every scar, every wound healing itself slowly, every mole, like wandering on a new map to describe the valleys and rivers of the world.

He could imagine why the Exarch didn’t want to undress, as the tower’s power seemed to have eaten a few parts of his limbs. He could imagine the shame of having a body that looked and felt different, abnormal, and so the Warrior didn’t push through. He liked the attention he was given anyway and relaxed completely under it, steady breathing, even though a part of him was waking up from the pleasure. He put one of his hand back on the head of the Miqo’te to reciprocate the caresses, to which he contentedly sighed from delight.

One of G’raha’s hand stopped at his hero’s bicep, feeling the muscle under his touch, tracing the veins from his fingers until his hand he took. It started becoming difficult for the Warrior to maintain his calm as his briefs started to feel small under the pressure of his arousal. But he didn’t want to break the softness of this moment.

Turned out he wouldn’t be the one doing so.

The hand that sheltered itself into the Warrior’s, lowered to his stomach, as the Miqo’te left another sigh of pleasure. His head was on the crook of the man’s neck, breathing deeply as he tried getting even closer to his hero. One leg crossed the Warrior’s body so he could feel his moving hips with a hardened bulge under his clothes. It surprised the man a bit, who shifted under the sheet, the Miqo’te lips brushing his neck again before he bit the skin. “I want you…” G’raha said to his ear, his hand going further down to test the Warrior’s arousal, finally getting under the brief.

The touch seemed to light the man on fire, a louder sigh escaping him under the delicate hand stroking him. He wanted to do the same, but the past refusal of the Exarch left him idle. Once the miqo’te seemed satisfied with the state of his arousal, he lazily raised up to straddle his hero. of his was still glued to the Warrior, navigating blindly under the of the . G’raha kissed the man’s chin, raising his face to his lips, gifting him of a wet kiss, tongues meeting in barely audible moans.

The Miqo’te seemed to shift his position a bit, releasing the Warrior’s arousal from the prison of his brief. He adjusting himself so that their hardened length would finally touch. “Wait…” That was almost too much for the man, closing his eyes and nibbling his lower lips so that he wouldn’t yet spill everything. G’raha was patient, he waited, hands getting back to his hero’s torso, despite his arousal twitching from desire.

After a few more seconds, the Warrior relaxed and started raising his pelvis to communicate his desires, and the Exarch obliged. He place a hand around both of their cocks, slowly moving up and down while also setting his hips in motions. It was almost too much solicitation for his senses, even though everything went so slowly. Their breathing intensified in unison; the room felt suddenly hotter. The Warrior raised his body in search of G’raha’s lips, kisses getting clumsier, while his hands moved around the Miqo’te body, trying to feel him even closer, trying to blend his soul in his.

They didn’t even need to go faster for them to reach orgasm, coming in waves of pleasure, anarchic breathing and moaning until it was over. They stayed still for a few seconds in each other’s arms, but it was all the strength they had left after this long day. They lied back down, dreams of a future together taking place in their minds as they fell asleep.

Did they dare to believe in them?


	2. Blackest Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WoL suffer from anxiety and trauma from what happened during the story.

He woke up in the middle of the night, as he often did. In his personal house in the Goblet, in his room with whom he knew was G’raha in the dark. He seemed to sleep softly, but the Au Ra was having more struggle. He couldn’t remember his dream, despite his heart going as fast as in a fight, sweat pearling across his chest and face.

The Warrior of Light knew he would not be close to sleep anytime soon, so he silently raised up from the bed, bare feet on the wooden floor. There was not much in his house, mainly used for sleeping when he wasn’t traveling. He had no light either, and wouldn’t dare to wake up the miqo’te.

Instinctively, he reached for his sword, making sure it was still close to him, before letting it go. He tried to convince himself he was safe. He opened the door to get to the bathroom, a mirror welcoming him when he switched on the light.

The Warrior could barely make sense of his appearance. He didn’t recognize himself, brain fogged by the hold of sleep still on him, still drugged by adrenaline from that long-forgotten dream. Still, his body had changed with the years traveling Eorzea, but also from his last adventure. The light from Norvrandt... had changed him. It stained his horns and scales in a pure white, contrasting with his tanned skin. His golden scales no longer existed. None of his friends ever commented on it, nor did G’raha for that matter, but the change had been present in his mind since then. A dark reminder of the monster he almost became.

He came closer to the mirror, touching his face and horns, making sure that, yes, these parts were actually him, and not some ghosts floating across the room. He was alone this time. Nothing really felt truly real in this, and he could not make up his feelings. Everything was fine yesterday. Things got back to what it used to be, but despite the time he took for himself, he couldn’t help but feel incredibly restless. It was like everything he lived in the past years suddenly rushed back out to him in full strength.

The desperation, the fear of losing one more person who was close to him, he was feeling it. He knew he couldn’t handle it anymore. He gained so much power for it to never happen again. He saw the white scaled inhuman sat on the floor, tail close to him, he couldn’t take his eyes off of the unknown figure. Memories of the way G’raha was being eaten away by the tower, of how he was kidnapped by Emet Selch after he was shot. Of how Haurchefant died saving him, of Ysayle showing them the way, of Tsuyu and her intense grief from her story, Papalymo’s sacrificeow all those people scarified themselves so he could live. It was weighting on his lungs, preventing him to even take another breath. The many times when he thought his friends would disappear or die. They would, one day, he was certain of it, they would disappear.

He couldn’t take it, if something else happened like this again. It was a powerful feeling, something primal in his guts pushing waves of feelings in his whole body. He could not take it. He would do anything to keep them all safe, but right now it felt as if they were going to die on the spot, right now, without him being able to do anything to help. 

Maybe this feeling would eventually pass, maybe he would fall asleep from the exhaustion way before. All he could do was breath, despite crushed lungs and look at the figure in the mirror, trying to reconcile it with himself for the next second. 

The next minute.

The next hour.

At some point, he felt soft and warm limbs around him. His tensed body took a few minutes to relax under it. He heard murmurs close to his ears, words he couldn’t make sense of. His skin was tickling with the soft caresses, gently bringing him back to the present, bringing him back from death, hell, or whatever that emptiness had been.

With time, he could make sense of the words or rather the lyrics, soft lullaby coming from his beloved’s lips:  
_”Would you believe with time comes grace? In perfect light, in perfect place.  
Every dream was mine to lose, and that's what it took, to lead me to you.  
So here's to the heartache, and here's to the mistakes.  
We'll drink to all the years, the tears that led to this place.”_

He could see the figure of G’raha in the mirror, holding him tenderly, eyes closed with his head against his shoulder. Pain was visible on his face, for things he himself lived before, for things he regretted too. All the past they held into their heart, the life they survived, for them to cross path again, for them to be there together. The Au Ra felt his lips tremble, gently taking the miqo’te hands in his. He wished so dearly he could erase that pain from G’raha’s heart. He would have given everything, everything. ”Was it worth it…?” The Warrior finally whispered.

The miqo’te opened his eyes, looking at them in the mirror, sad eyes pearled with unfallen tears, loss, grief, but resolve in his voice “It was worth everything.” He tried to smile and managed for a while, but the tears ran across his cheeks, and he buried his head in the Au Ra’s neck.

The Warrior of Light took him in his arms, his own worries forgotten, or put at bay for a while, one hand stroking the miqo’te’s hair. “I won’t let you get hurt again.” He promised. He would not let any Ascien, any Garlemald, any monster harm him. With his greatsword, he would ensure the safety of the people he cared for, the Blackest Night as his ally. Past regrets and losses he didn’t ever want to feel again. “I promise, G’raha.”

In the blackest night, he was making the promise again that he would not allow his feelings devour him. The hurt and the losses, they would fuel the darkest part of him, more power so that he would protect them all. No matter how much he changed, how much alien he became to himself, how much more terrible secrets he discovered about the world… He would accept it all. He would give all of him, to keep his friends and beloved safe.matter how much he changed, how much alien he became to himself, how much more terrible secrets he discovered about the world… He would accept it all, he would give all of him, to keep his friends and beloved safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song G'raha sings is Here's to the Heartache from Nothing More (piano version is the best for this scene imo).  
> Also if you want to check what my WoL looks like: https://www.zupimages.net/up/20/49/oyro.png  
> https://www.zupimages.net/up/20/49/uotp.png
> 
> I hope you liked it!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading I hope you liked it!  
> I love comments so they're very welcome!


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